Kickabout with the Gents: How Not to Get Relegated

Fancy a kickabout, gents?

How to not get relegated: a Kickabout with the Gents Guide.

Evening gents…it’s been a long time since I last wrote a column entry- well, written anything. I’ve promised this for sometime now- even before the World Cup (which I will write an article on next, probably, unless Gary Neville’s a twat again and that takes precedence). Now, if you don’t know, I’m a West Bromwich Albion fan- an unfortunate circumstance which means I support the ‘yo-yo club’ of English football for the past…7 years or so. That’s because we keep getting promoted to the Premiership, and then relegated again- we have only survived once, in a record breaking and heart attack inducing ‘Great Escape’- no other team has stayed in the Premier League if they were bottom at Christmas. We dispelled the inevitability of that omen, and saved ourselves from being absolutely drubbed, a la Sunderland and Derby County.

So, unlike most football fans I have an acute experience of promotions and relegations- I’ve seen more than most do in their footballing lifetime. Such is the cost of supporting a team who aren’t dull, dishwater, established and middle-of-the-road team. That’s right- even if this is the kind of excitement that threatens to give me cancer or something: it’s more exciting than being, well, Bolton, Everton, et al?

So- how what things help steer the fate of a season, bribe the gods of football and bring you the heady heights of financing that being in the topflight gives you.

I will at the end of each section be selecting 1 doer, and 1 failer. Give you a clue- the former’s good, the latter’s fucking kamikaze shit.